falling apart into someone new
the tantra of grief, hope & everything in between
crying, again.
i was sitting where i sat with beans, every day
to write him a letter.
it’s been 10 days since he died.
he left a space and silence i can’t fill
and filled me with a grief i can’t lose.
i thought by now in life, i experienced the full range of human emotion.
seems i didn’t.
i never felt a sadness heavier than my body
or a despair that howls out of me like an animal.
my friend said;
“grief is love with nowhere to go”
and it’s just that. a love so pure rushing out of my eyes & hands, but nothing to see & hold.
picture by lisa
this email was supposed to be about temple,
and in many ways it is.
temple is not about being a happy, flowy goddess.
it’s about being real, a full spectrum woman.
softness isn’t an avoidance of hard things
softness is an embrace of everything.
it’s breaking open in the breaking-down
it’s letting in the letting-go
it’s taking life like a face
between the palms of your hands
and say, i will love you again
(based on the beautiful poem on grief by ellen bass)
this is tantra - a radical embrace of reality.
also the ugly, dark, painful.
this is why i walk this path
and chose to share it.
i stand behind the thought that as humans
we are alive to be alive.
this means embracing life
whether it drops you or lifts you,
holds you or hurts you.
it means embracing life
even when it leaves an empty space
in the form of a cat.
i saw this song,
and the title hit me;
Falling Apart into Someone New
i think that’s what i’m doing, and i know many of you are doing too.
let this song soothe you & awaken hope
because that’s exactly what it sounds like to me
temple registration is open
for 7 more days,
you are able to join my school of softness.
this is where we practice:
radically embracing our reality
fully embodying our truth
gently soothing & loving our selves
learning to flow & feel our way through life
being held by sisters
all the tools in temple are what keeps me feeling soft & strong in my life.
i couldn’t have faced what i face now without them.
and more than ever, i wish for every woman to have access to these tools.
try temple for free for 7 days
get a taste of the magic for free. for example, take a moment for
20-minute ‘softly landing’ practice by me
30-minute ‘the feeling body’ practice by rae
45-minute ‘return of the sacred feminine’ class by polly
it’s all ready & waiting for you in the temple library.
if you sign up for 6 months, you get a 15% discount
(16$ per month instead of 19$)
i hope to see you inside, dear sister.
may we remember as women
that the depth of our emotion
is our gift.
that the intensity with which we experience life
is our power.
sending you the most tender kind of love
xx
jess